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About Me Member Abstract Artist SeothenMale/Canada Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
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This is me, sorta.

The Rules of Dreamland

Thu Aug 20, 2009, 5:20 AM
In my dream last night I was in an internet café and a family of four from Botswana told me it was illegal in Canada for me to hide what was on my computer screen from them. And you know what, in Dreamland that just might be true. When I woke up I decided to put together a series of bylaws, facts, and rules about dreaming; feel free to suggest your own, though if I haven’t dreamt them myself, I may not be able to add them to the list.

1. It is illegal to hide what’s on your computer screen from anyone (Canadian Dreamland only).
2. With a running start, if you pull your feet up suddenly you can glide quite a distance.
3. Any unresolved issues you have with family are multiplied times ten in dreams.
4. If you have to pee and can’t find the washroom in a restaurant, just pee wherever (ie. the restaurant receipt box works well); the waiters may stare but they won’t say anything in Dreamland.
5. The Vietnam War is still going strong in Dreamland.
6. In my dreams I missed several credits necessary to graduate high school, and must go back.
7. Despite having to go back to high school, I’m also still in university, it’s mid-way through the semester, and I haven’t gone to any classes yet.
8. Scorpions are all over the carpets of Dreamland, which isn’t a problem for me but I'm worried they'll get my cats. So I'm running all over the house, picking up kittens and putting them in a box, and finding new kittens everywhere that I didn't even realize were living in my house, and getting stung all across my hands and feet (why aren't I wearing shoes while I do this???).
9. Occasionally the hair style you had in high school will regrow unexpectedly.
10. Jokes you come up with in dreams aren’t funny in real life.
11. Air travel is the same while dreaming as in real life – a horrifying, uncomfortable experience where the pilot has to show off by flying between buildings and under telephone lines. Not a shock he always crashes the plane into the giant pool at the mall.
12. If you are in a car and someone else is driving they will often choose some impossibly steep hill to drive up.
13. If I start watching a horror movie in Dreamland I will soon find myself inside the horror movie.
14. If I start watching porn in Dreamland I unfortunately do not end up inside the porn movie.
15. Running in a dream only works when you don't need it to.
16. Getting shot or stabbed doesn't hurt, it just makes a mess.
17. People are surpisingly more comfortable with your public displays of nudity than they should be.
18. The violence in Dreamland is over the top and completely uncalled for. As demonstrated here: [link]
18a. (ADDENDUM TO 18, CONCERNING HOLLYWOOD) In Dreamland, the woman who played Marion in Kevin Costner's Robin Hood is dead; her head exploded when she got caught in the middle of a group of brawling truckers and one of them accidentally crushed her head in a door. Ryan Gosling, or someone who looks like him, is crippled, after last night's dream where a recently released convict walked up to him in line at the airport and smashed both his legs. I remember being horrified by it, but also thinking that hey, at least there's another seat now open in my van (I think I was giving him and a bunch of other people rides around town).
19. I guess I own a van. ???
20. Remember those people you didn't like in high school? They're still assholes.
21. My favourite place on the planet - the cottage - is sunny and warm despite the snow everywhere, the water is clear and gorgeous, and there're sharks in the water...
22. Television nature documentaries are totally wrong in dreams. Killer Whales don't leave behind the sick and pregnant so they can continue to hunt. Stupid subconscious.

That's all so far - any other rules or laws people can guarantee are in Dreamland?
EDIT: Thanks to rlhcreations for 15 and 16!

  • Mood: Joy
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